Category: Lifestyle

The Jollof Rice Ohigi Finished After My Girlfriend Bought the Anko.

The Jollof Rice Ohigi

After this article my girlfriend is going to kill me for sure, I agree but at least the story has been told already, for I kind of like what happened to her at her friend’s wedding in Okene.

Shey you know it is almost every girl’s dream to witness a wedding ceremony, for she believed one day it’s going to be her turn, this is not what usually takes my girlfriend and her friends to weddings but to look at how wealthy people are, at the event.

Omayoza’s groom-to-be was one of those wealthy government official.
“My best friend’s wedding would be the talk of town.” Omayoza’s chief bridesmaid bragged. All the big girls in my area heard that and ran to queue for her expensive anko. Rumors also had it that Kogi State chief of staffs will be at the event to grace the day. Also people like Ohere and Kabiru Onyene will be sending representatives if they can’t make it. The best caterers in town had been hired for the wedding, and the hotel booked for the wedding is Afims Hotels. She hurriedly used her last money to buy 3 yards of the anko, when she heard that.

When People Attend Weddings in Ebiraland, Either or all of these four things take them there.

  1. The people attending. E.g Omayoza’s Chief of Staffs and Ohere Representatives.
  2. The excitement of the photos they’ll take. This depends on how beautiful the venue is.
  3. Relationship with the couple.
  4. THE WEDDING FOOD.

It’s easy to tell no1 and no4 were taking my girlfriend to Omayoza’s. The first disappointment was the venue as Afims Hotels turn out to be Eyindudu primary school field in Inoziomi, another problem was the venue for the matrimonial service and reception were one and the same place. It was difficult to reckon when the government officials will be at the event briefly for photos before the reception starts and when refreshments would begin.

It was almost 4pm and the matrimonial ceremony was still going on. There was nothing spectacular at the wedding as those in Omayoza circle made them believe. Even some of the so-called government officials looked more like fillings stations attendants. The Sheikh had diverted from the usual wedding story to preach on fornication. She cringed in her seat as she glanced at her wristwatch and the programme booklet for the umpteenth time. Her friend whispered that it’s because Omayoza was four months pregnant outside wedlock. Her impatience state had her lamenting.

Her sigh was audible when the reception finally began. They couldn’t leave their seat to take photos with the couple for fear that they might lose their seats.
Due to the poor timing, they had to rush most of the items listed in the programme. They were told to form a queue beside each canopy for the buffet. It seemed like they were not the only ones waiting for food as the whole place was thrown into a pandemonium. Nigerians sure don’t know how to queue up for a buffet. They jump in line, push whoever is in the way and makes sure those serving attend to them before anyone else. She felt like stabbing the restless guy in front of her with the heel of her shoe or strangling him with the piece of anko on her shoulder.

Her friends and she were among the first 20 in their queue but her joy was cut short when the MC instructed them all to head back to their seats. The ushers were going to serve them there. The new directive messed everything up. Some people had already gotten food, some got food twice while some didn’t and it was difficult to tell where they sat. The ushers were not helping matters by serving in a scalar manner. One of her friends got first. Fifteen minutes after, the second one got hers. Thirty minutes after, nothing for her yet.
Both of them were now giving each other that ‘eeyah… I pity Hawa sha’ look. Occasionally they would glance at her hyperventilating and give her that ‘inya, vainete, Isori Aave’ (Sister relax food is coming soon) look “Should I remain my food for you?” One of her friend asked. “NO!” She voiced out in anger.

She didn’t know who to pour her frustration on. From the back row she sat, she tried to eye the Iyawo with disgust but she wouldn’t even look at her. She thought of taking off the small piece of anko from her neck to wave at her. After paying for your anko, no food abi? Yahoo Yahoo wedding! One of her ‘bellyfull’ friends had the guts to suggest they head outside to wait for the government officials groomsmen. How can she listen to any man on an empty stomach? She abused her with all the curses and swear words she learnt since 1179.

As the migration officer of their 3- female clique, both of them had absolutely no right to go out without her. At that point only the Ohigi jollof rice mattered. Reality set in when people started leaving. Typically of Nigerian ceremonies, once they eat, they dump your ass there and leave! Even the couple finished their ‘feeding of the couple stuff’ and they no longer gave a hoot about their hungry guests…including my girlfriend.

You’ve got to me strong girllllll… You’ve seen worse. Don’t dare cry. She consoled herself. She was too preoccupied with hunger to notice her friend had gone over to the catering section to complain on her behalf.
Whatever she told them worked as one of them was seen heading towards her direction with a tray.

“Errrmmm…sorry oh, asukwayi. You should have struggled for food na. There’s rice here but the chicken and meat we have left has been packed away by the Iyawo’s relatives. Would you mind the rice only?” The usher said.
Emiiii? Eat leftover rice? I may be a beggar but I am a beggar with anko and a damn good choice. She said.
“Let’s leave please.” she motioned to her friends tearfully. I could sense an impending ulcer attack ready to strike her dead, where I was sitting busy watching movie at home. Because she refused to eat before leaving for the Ohigi

Her friends began consoling her.
“Don’t worry, we would try to sit at the front when next we attend a wedding.”
“There won’t be any next time!” She retorted angrily.

Maybe they’ve been, but that was the last time she wasted money on ANKO that couldn’t guarantee her trivial benefits like the Ohigi Jollof Rice.

I make fun of her every day with this, I like the business strategy Omayoza pulled though, and she really made hell lots of money. I just hope she didn’t break my head after reading this article

Thanks for reading, this is the end of the sad story of my girlfriend anko and Ohigi Jollof Rice my fellow Amebos. Bye! Don’t forget to drop your comments below and share.

Read More

Interview: Exclusive Interview With Lady Tonia (Ohunene) – With Video.

Ebira Online Interview With Ohunene
Lady Tonia (Ohunene)

Hello my fellow Anebiras and the good people of Ebira Online Media, i have received countless of emails about the First lady in Ebira People’s Entertainment, the person of Lady T aka Ohunene. The emails often reads “When is She Coming Back? Why Did She Stop Acting? And the likes”.

So guess what?

I actually made up my mind to Interview her 1 on 1 and she granted my request so i traveled to the FCT Abuja for the interview and it was a massive success. Thanks to God and the selfless Ebira Born Actress we interviewed.

Ohunene Interview.jpg
Yakubu Binuyaminu, Ohunene & Prince YU

In a sit down talk with Ohunene, she unveiled a lot about how she started acting, her time as an actress and why she took a break, i wouldn’t say it was an interview as it’s more of an interactive session (It is more of a discussion).

Ebira Online Media: Please we will like to know what prompted you to start acting and when?

Ohunene: Acting and singing is a thing I enjoyed doing from childhood, back then with my group in church we act and sing at church events before i joined Ebira Movie industry early 2000 (2003). Listen to the Video Below for full Answer

Question: Has anything Rumors Peddlers say, ever hurt you?

Answer: No, you know i have grown to know my people, so for that I don’t let anything anybody say get into my head.

Question: Has anyone ever discriminate you?

Answer: My brother. A lot, you know we live in a society where some people don’t really know the difference between acting and reality, for if you take the role of a witch in a movie automatically in reality you are Opochi (Witch) like wise if you act the scene of Prostitute or a Thieve. So not only me everyone that act get discriminated one way or the other…

Question: In your song titled ‘Anyegwu Irego’ you sing about ‘Dead Horse and a Living Horse’ can you explain the meaning of it?

Answer: The simple explanation to this is; let’s say i have a Horse now, when its alive there is no way you can ride it, If it’s dead you can’t eat from the meat, why don’t you just let it be alive. Its a form of encoded message to ones enemy to leave one alone as I’m no use to them dead.

Question: So Tell Us, Why Did You Have To Leave?

Answer: I didn’t leave i only took a break, because of reasons known to me, it’s personal. Just so you know, you have to explore and try something else.. and besides i have lots of projects at hand and very soon i will thrill all my fans, i just want my coming back to be a big surprise. So expect greatness.

To here full details of this answer listen in the video below:

Videos you need to listen to is below please do add your comments and feed back below thanks do endeavor to subscribe to Ebira Online TV.

I Only Took A Break

I can’t actually type everything here as i have prepared it in videos on YouTube.
Subscribe to our channel for more entertainment and exclusive Interviews Click Here To Subscribe..

Read More

Ebira Dream Symbols (60 Common Dreams And Their Meaning).

Every culture and people around the world attach different meaning to signs and symbols we see in our dreams. Here, I am compiling a list of dream symbols as believed by the Ebira People. These are signs and symbols that have been tried and tested through the ages. These interpretations are not meant to scare anyone but to reveal the true meaning of what your dream is trying to tell you so that you can take appropriate steps to get your dreams fulfilled (In case of good dreams) or to pray against such dreams (In cases of bad dreams). Suggestions are highly welcome, but note that this is not a debate site so arguments and criticism will not be entertained.

Dreamssimbols
Image Credits to WikiHow.

No one knows tomorrow but many time, our dreams can see tomorrow very clearly. Good luck as i unravel the mysteries of life. Have fun!!!

Eating: This is interpreted to be a bad omen, because it may mean that the food one likes to eat may be poisoned by someone else. Also we I have seen cases where people were poisoned in their dream.

Being chased: This is interpreted usually as a bad sign. The masquerade or the by animals or animal is a manifestation of evil forces. In practical terms, one’s masquerades enemies are planning evil against the person involved.

Counting money: This is often interpreted as a foreshadowing of poverty. The dreamer may be having a vicarious experience of wealth and mistake this for reality by relaxing, or it could mean the possibility of a sudden wealth that has no basis in the dreamer’s efforts and can also lead back to poverty if the dreamer does not embark on productive activities.

Swimming in river: This is interpreted as a struggle to survive or surmount a problem. Swimming through the river before the end of the dream may signal potential success while failing to do this may suggest serious problems ahead for the dreamer.

Bathing in the house: This is interpreted as washing away ill luck or failure. Bathing in one’s house suggests some element of control by the person.

Seeing a snail or picking snail: This is often suggested to mean that one’s progress will be slowed down. It can also mean contracting a sudden death

Sexual intercourse: This suggests that one’s progress may be negated or the possibility of spiritual weakness.

Hunting: If the dreamer kills the game, it is interpreted as acquiring some success. If otherwise, this means the beginning of failure in the dreamer’s efforts.

Getting married: This may mean that the person is married already in the Spirit world and may remain unmarried for ever in the physical world. For the already married person, this could mean a gradual transition to the ancestral world where reunion is a form of marriage.

Being soaked by rain: This is often interpreted as a sign of blessing to the dreamer

Maize or rice farm or gold: Someone who dreams and sees himself in a large maize or rice farm or walking through gold means that, God is going to take your hardship away. Especially if that dream re-occurs you should be diligent about it. It is a sign that God has determined to release prosperity into your life.

Diamond or Gold: Whenever you receive diamond or gold in your dream, the diamond signifies glory and honour while the gold means financial break through.

Dead person given you gold: If you dreamt and saw a dead person giving you gold, it means the opportunity God gave to that person while he was alive will now pass unto you.

Dog or Cat: Someone who dreams and kills a dog or cat has been given victory over his household enemies. On the other hand, if the animals are not domestic, but are either snake or scorpions, it also means that God has given him victory over enemies outside his home.

National flag: When you see a national flag in a dream, it signifies the nation. The particular flag you see will determine the country God wants to talk to you about. The content, symbols and tokens of it will determine what God wants to tell you concerning that nation. Therefore, if you see two different national flags tied up together it means that there shall be a strong unity among those two countries.

Award: Someone who dreams that he has been awarded by a president will receive an award of blessing in the land governed by the president from God.

Interview: Someone who dreams, he is being shot on a video camera having a journalist interview or being tape recorded while giving a speech means he or she shall be either a national or an international star depending on the type of people interviewing him or her.

Anointing oil: When someone receives an anointing oil in his dreams, it means the person is receiving a divine mantle. Find out more about whose image God is using in the dream. This may help you to discover the total meaning of the dream.

Man of God (Pastor or Alfa): Someone who sees a man of God in a dream has received a revelation of God’s shadow because men of God represent God.

Fruit: Whenever you are given one particular fruit in your dream, it means you have been given a divine gift from God. Receiving different types of fruits means that you have been given different types of gift from the God.

Quran or Quran Verse/Bible or Bible verse: Someone who dreams that he has been given a chapter or verse of any of the Holy Books in a dream means that there is a message from God out of that verse for him. It can be a warning, words of encouragement or words of wisdom. The scripture given will show what God wants to communicate.

Driving a car: Someone who dreams and sees himself always driving a private car also means God will one day give him/her a personal work or independence to become an employer.

Driving a bus: A dream where one finds himself driving a commercial vehicle containing people but the dreamer has no knowledge about driving is a sign that the person will become a leader over a group of people in a government company in the near future, the size of the vehicle he is driving will determine the number of people in the company.

Driving a taxi cab: A dream where a non-taxi driver finds himself driving a taxi speaks of one that shall lead a group of people but they will not be large in number.

Driving a cargo car: The driving of a cargo car loaded with goods by one who is not a driver means the person will one day be in charge of properties. The size of the car he saw in the dream will determine the size of the property he will be in charge of.

Visa: A dreamer who receives a visa in a dream under a parabolic dream signifies divine authority to go places. Note that when the person is seriously sick before this dream, it is a signal that that person’s departure from this universe has been approved by God; which means death.

Shoe: To be given a new shoe in a dream is an indication of being given a new opportunity.

Money: Someone who is given money in a dream is one who is being given wisdom to make wealth or doors of financial opportunities are about to be opened unto him.

High mountain or building: Someone who dream’s and sees himself on top of a high mountain or a high story building has great victory in store.

Computer: The dreamer who finds himself always using a computer where as he is not a computer literate, speaks of someone who God will make famous by means of the mass media or IT in General.

Politician: Person who moves with politicians in a dream will experience great opposition and criticism. The end of the dream will determine whether he/she will be victorious or not.

Honey or Candy: Whoever dreams and finds he/she is being given a Candy or honey is a pointer that God will turn the fellow’s bitterness into sweetness in this life.

Keys: Whenever you receive keys in a dream, it means God has given you divine wisdom, authority, dominion and power. A lone key however is an indication that you are being given an opportunity.

Fishing: Someone who dreams and finds himself fishing but is not a fisherman has received anointing to win souls. In the future, he can become a preacher or a successful businessman with so much influence over society.

Laughing: Whenever you dream and see yourself laughing and instantly wake up with the laughter it means your mourning will turn into laughter.

Travelling: Whenever you find yourself travelling oversees for a business in a dream. It could be taken literally to mean just that. Under parabolic dreams however, it means your blessings are not limited to where you are.

Police or Soldier: When police men or soldiers appear in your dream to rescue you from satanic attack, it means the Angels of God has rescued you from the hands of witchcraft powers. Note when they are after you in a dream, it signifies demonic attack.

Vomiting: Whenever you see yourself vomiting in your dream it means you are being delivered from the hands of the evil one or from sickness.

Beating someone: Whenever you see yourself beating someone in your dream, it means the power of God has come over you to defeat your enemies.

Upside Down National flag: Whenever you see a national flag being turned upside down or being burnt by fire in a dream, it means that such a nation will face misfortunes, such as wars or natural disasters or famine.

Dirty water, dirty places or mad person: Poverty is depicted in a dream by someone seeing dirty water, walking through nasty grounds such as on faecal matter, gutters, refuse dump and seeing a mad person. Even if the dreamer is well of in the society, he or she needs to watch out for an impending disgrace ahead of his life.

Former School, home, teacher, sites etc: Someone who dreams and sees himself in his formal school, hometown, formal residence, formal work site or sees his formal teacher, ex president , formal land lord, is a signal of a setback in life and also an indication of great honour being withheld from the dreamer.

Ghost, Casket, ambulance, grave: If you dream and see the ghost of a dead person, casket, ambulance or grave yard it signifies that the spirit of death is at hand.

Black ants: Black ants clustered in ones bedroom or around ones bed, depicts the crowd that will gather for the persons funeral. This is a negative dream and has to be resisted at all cost.

Funeral cloth: If you find yourself in a funeral cloth in a dream, it signifies a life of sorrow.

Red pepper, onion, ginger: Plucking of red pepper or receiving a gift of red paper, onion and ginger is an indication of pain, bitterness, sorrow and hardship to be unleashed.

Snake or poisonous insect: If snake or any poisonous animal or insect bites you in a dream, it means your enemies have succeeded in overcoming you with an evil plot.

Snail, Tortoise: Seeing snail and tortoise in a dream means that one’s rate of growth will be slow especially with regard to prosperity. This is negative and needs to be dealt with, with prayer.

Dumb: Whenever you see yourself dumb in a dream it means you cannot express yourself especially in self-defence.

Prison: Whenever you find yourself in prison or a police cell in a dream, it signifies spiritual stagnation.

Goat, Cow: Whenever you see a goat or cow in dream especially the black one’s it signifies witchcraft.

Pig, Vulture: Whenever you dream about a pig or vulture it also signifies embarrassment or poverty.

Sheep: Whenever you see a white ram or a white sheep in a dream it signifies meekness.

Sex, Romance, and Eating: Someone who dreams that he/she is having sex or having romance and eating in a dream can result into set back, sickness, spiritual weakness, lack of marriage and disappointment in life.

Drinking: If you are already a good Muslim or Christian, and you have a dream that you are drinking alcohol, smoking and bowing down to a shrine or having fun at a club house or disco it is a warning from God against a backsliding.

Naked or defecating: Someone who dreams and finds himself walking naked in a market place or defecating on himself will experience self-disgrace.

Rainbow, Chameleon: A dreamer who sees rainbow or a chameleon in his dream will definitely make it in life. But the pace will be slow. This person should not rush in life but take it slowly with God.

Shot with a gun, receiving injection or eating: If you find yourself having being shot with gun, receiving an injection or eating food in a dream excluding meat, it is a sign of sickness which will be difficult to be diagnosed.

Eating meat: note when the food contains only meat, it means such a person has contracted blind witchcraft which is a dangerous dream.

Quran or Bible: Someone who dreams of receiving a Quran or Bible in a dream as a gift signifies that he has been given salvation, divine wisdom, divine power, divine dominion and divine authority.

For questions and contribution please add your comments below this article at the comment section, Avor.

By Yakubu Binuyaminu Adeiza – 07033004080

Read More

Why Irehu Iruvo is So Important in Ebira Home (Marriage)? – by Onize

Irehu Iruvo

Irehu Iruvo literally meaning stool and bum bum. It is a woodwork used for sitting in Ebira homes which signifies its importance, Irehu Iruvo is made from wood and carved by wood sculptors. The stool signifies authority.

Irehu Iruvo is used for sitting at home, sometimes for the purpose for doing domestic chores and many other purposes.

The Irehu Iruvo is an artefact, It has different functions and has been used in many occasions especially marriages. In marriages in Ebira land It is part of the obligatory rite.
Marriage in Ebiraland is seen as a sacred act with lots of rites and obligations, one of which is the taking of stool by the bride to her matrimonial home.

The stool is brought as a gift by the bride’s mother as a gift to the bride, she is meant to sit on the stool facing her husband during the traditional marriage after then it is obligatory for her to take the stool to her matrimonial home.

Why is Irehu Iruvo so important

It is important because the stool signifies that the bride has a sitting position in husband ‘s house , she is the overseer of her new home, that is she has come to stay and she is not going back to her father ‘s house. The Irehu Iruvo in Ebira Marriage language means Ma va yatu, which means I have come to stay. It is important because it means stability and long lasting of the marriage.

Also Read: The Mysterious History of Irehu Iruvo

This is an ancient practice that cannot be abandon even after many revolution, It is still widely practice till today and doesn’t look like, it will disappear soon.

Written by: Hamid Latifat Onize

History and International studies

Federal University Lokoja

Read More