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The Jollof Rice Ohigi Finished After My Girlfriend Bought the Anko.

The Jollof Rice Ohigi

After this article my girlfriend is going to kill me for sure, I agree but at least the story has been told already, for I kind of like what happened to her at her friend’s wedding in Okene.

Shey you know it is almost every girl’s dream to witness a wedding ceremony, for she believed one day it’s going to be her turn, this is not what usually takes my girlfriend and her friends to weddings but to look at how wealthy people are, at the event.

Omayoza’s groom-to-be was one of those wealthy government official.
“My best friend’s wedding would be the talk of town.” Omayoza’s chief bridesmaid bragged. All the big girls in my area heard that and ran to queue for her expensive anko. Rumors also had it that Kogi State chief of staffs will be at the event to grace the day. Also people like Ohere and Kabiru Onyene will be sending representatives if they can’t make it. The best caterers in town had been hired for the wedding, and the hotel booked for the wedding is Afims Hotels. She hurriedly used her last money to buy 3 yards of the anko, when she heard that.

When People Attend Weddings in Ebiraland, Either or all of these four things take them there.

  1. The people attending. E.g Omayoza’s Chief of Staffs and Ohere Representatives.
  2. The excitement of the photos they’ll take. This depends on how beautiful the venue is.
  3. Relationship with the couple.

It’s easy to tell no1 and no4 were taking my girlfriend to Omayoza’s. The first disappointment was the venue as Afims Hotels turn out to be Eyindudu primary school field in Inoziomi, another problem was the venue for the matrimonial service and reception were one and the same place. It was difficult to reckon when the government officials will be at the event briefly for photos before the reception starts and when refreshments would begin.

It was almost 4pm and the matrimonial ceremony was still going on. There was nothing spectacular at the wedding as those in Omayoza circle made them believe. Even some of the so-called government officials looked more like fillings stations attendants. The Sheikh had diverted from the usual wedding story to preach on fornication. She cringed in her seat as she glanced at her wristwatch and the programme booklet for the umpteenth time. Her friend whispered that it’s because Omayoza was four months pregnant outside wedlock. Her impatience state had her lamenting.

Her sigh was audible when the reception finally began. They couldn’t leave their seat to take photos with the couple for fear that they might lose their seats.
Due to the poor timing, they had to rush most of the items listed in the programme. They were told to form a queue beside each canopy for the buffet. It seemed like they were not the only ones waiting for food as the whole place was thrown into a pandemonium. Nigerians sure don’t know how to queue up for a buffet. They jump in line, push whoever is in the way and makes sure those serving attend to them before anyone else. She felt like stabbing the restless guy in front of her with the heel of her shoe or strangling him with the piece of anko on her shoulder.

Her friends and she were among the first 20 in their queue but her joy was cut short when the MC instructed them all to head back to their seats. The ushers were going to serve them there. The new directive messed everything up. Some people had already gotten food, some got food twice while some didn’t and it was difficult to tell where they sat. The ushers were not helping matters by serving in a scalar manner. One of her friends got first. Fifteen minutes after, the second one got hers. Thirty minutes after, nothing for her yet.
Both of them were now giving each other that ‘eeyah… I pity Hawa sha’ look. Occasionally they would glance at her hyperventilating and give her that ‘inya, vainete, Isori Aave’ (Sister relax food is coming soon) look “Should I remain my food for you?” One of her friend asked. “NO!” She voiced out in anger.

She didn’t know who to pour her frustration on. From the back row she sat, she tried to eye the Iyawo with disgust but she wouldn’t even look at her. She thought of taking off the small piece of anko from her neck to wave at her. After paying for your anko, no food abi? Yahoo Yahoo wedding! One of her ‘bellyfull’ friends had the guts to suggest they head outside to wait for the government officials groomsmen. How can she listen to any man on an empty stomach? She abused her with all the curses and swear words she learnt since 1179.

As the migration officer of their 3- female clique, both of them had absolutely no right to go out without her. At that point only the Ohigi jollof rice mattered. Reality set in when people started leaving. Typically of Nigerian ceremonies, once they eat, they dump your ass there and leave! Even the couple finished their ‘feeding of the couple stuff’ and they no longer gave a hoot about their hungry guests…including my girlfriend.

You’ve got to me strong girllllll… You’ve seen worse. Don’t dare cry. She consoled herself. She was too preoccupied with hunger to notice her friend had gone over to the catering section to complain on her behalf.
Whatever she told them worked as one of them was seen heading towards her direction with a tray.

“Errrmmm…sorry oh, asukwayi. You should have struggled for food na. There’s rice here but the chicken and meat we have left has been packed away by the Iyawo’s relatives. Would you mind the rice only?” The usher said.
Emiiii? Eat leftover rice? I may be a beggar but I am a beggar with anko and a damn good choice. She said.
“Let’s leave please.” she motioned to her friends tearfully. I could sense an impending ulcer attack ready to strike her dead, where I was sitting busy watching movie at home. Because she refused to eat before leaving for the Ohigi

Her friends began consoling her.
“Don’t worry, we would try to sit at the front when next we attend a wedding.”
“There won’t be any next time!” She retorted angrily.

Maybe they’ve been, but that was the last time she wasted money on ANKO that couldn’t guarantee her trivial benefits like the Ohigi Jollof Rice.

I make fun of her every day with this, I like the business strategy Omayoza pulled though, and she really made hell lots of money. I just hope she didn’t break my head after reading this article

Thanks for reading, this is the end of the sad story of my girlfriend anko and Ohigi Jollof Rice my fellow Amebos. Bye! Don’t forget to drop your comments below and share.

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Some Ebira Men Marry More Wives Just To Avoid Their Responsibilities (A Must Read Article)

polygamous family

Note: Onize lateefat has not written this article to get Ebira Men down or to make them feel bad but to correct one big major problem affecting our society today. I (Yakubu Binuyaminu) have also contributed in the editing of the article for better understanding. Happy Reading.

Ebira Man are well known to be handsome, hardworking, intelligent and innovative but some have a few bad trait which has given almost all, bad names and seen as a trend which are associated with them. These trend is that of a happily married man taking another wife, with the intention that each wife will have to take care of their own children there self, to skip or run away from their responsibilities.

Not all Ebira men are guilty of this act though, as husbands don’t take care of their wife or children, leaving their children in the hands of their mother who in most cases has little or no source of income. These trend has become so popular among some Ebira men which has made lots of Ebira ladies not wanting to marry from their tribe

Most of the men alleged of this act, had many wives, concubine and children, who don’t know themselves. The needs and Responsibilities of these children are mostly handled and catered for by their struggling mothers who in most cases has little or no source of income leaving the children to fend for themselves in whatever way possible. You can see where thugery started from in Ebiraland

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These children turns into miscreants in the society, community thugs, thieves, kidnapper, drug addicts and the likes because they lack adequate care, parental guidance and support, proper attention. Most of them don’t even go to school and the few who are fortunate to go to public school where the school facilities are very poor and only about 20% of these children are able to escape this fate.

Also when an most of these men get a promotion, a new job or an increase in salary or sales, they don’t think of a way to improve the standard of living of his family, the only thing they think about is getting another wife no matter the poor situation of the family but tries in every possible way to impress the new wife. The man starts to find faults that were not their or have being ignored over the years and these has been the major reasons for divorce cases in Ebiraland.

Why has these trend become so popular among some Ebira Men?

This is because of the lack of regards some Ebira men has for Ebira ladies, lack of education and laziness. “my father has lots of wives, so is not bad if I have the same”. Also, the acts of marrying more than one wife and having concubines is seen as a sign of wealth and also due to the fact that most Ebira are Muslim and marrying of four wives is believed to be Sunnah forgetting the requirements before this Sunnah can be met….
These act has lots of negative impact on the life of many youth today and has led to lots of broken homes and many ladies refusing to marry from their tribes because of fear of facing the same fate.

Conclusively, as I have said earlier, this doesn’t happen with all homes and all Ebira Men, No. This article is just an eyes opener for most of our guys following the same trend. It is 21st century and we just thank God most of us are now educated, now we know what’s good for us and the society and its high time for all of us to make amends.
Did you have contrary opinion to this article? Please share your opinions with us through the comment section below.
Thanks for Reading. Avo Nini

Written By:
Onize Lateefat & Yakubu Binuyaminu Adeiza.
Publishers at: Ebira Online Media (

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